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I was just checking my compatibility with certain celebrities. Using my birth date, here is my list of best compatibility...

Janeane Garofalo 100%
Patricia Arquette 100%
Rosie O'Donnell 97%
Ellen DeGeneres 96%
Anita Baker 96%

I have the same exact birth date as Janeane Garofalo, so thats why I match up perfectly with her. You will also note, two known lesbians on my list. I'm fairly certain, if I had my way with the other three, they will come out of their respective closets to publicly announce their true sexual persuasion. These results would explain my fetish for Subarus.

I also checked Anna Nicole Smith. I scored a %99 intellectual match up with her. That seems about right.

...and now todays joke

A man walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist he needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The man then explained he needed it to poison his wife. The pharmacist's eyes got big and she said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your wife! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, and they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you cannot have any cyanide!"

Then the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of his wife in bed with the pharmacist's husband. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, hell, you didn't tell me you had a prescription!"